Rake and I at the Gawkward party the other night. Yes, I realize he is — inexplicably — schmoozing a mirror. Yes, I also realize there is a high likelihood this is a sign of mental retardation. Other thing I borderline instinctively realize: I am probably (almost certainly) too good for all this. *sigh*
Balancing out the five cupcakes I had for midday snack with a delicious orange drank from @BlewStraightThru.
Also space-maximizing is the new time-maximizing, so I went ahead and consumed in my loo! Hybrid dining room bathroom? Drathroom? Life = hacked!!!
Any wonderful readers out there any good at inventively cutting up vegetables and arranging them on a platter? Also, maybe at flawlessly wrapping things in boxes and whipping up lovely little bows and ribbons to put on top? I have a hugely important Holiday Festivus soiree to attend later, and I would really like everything to be exceptionally well pulled together!!!
Also, if you could maybe look at my computer and conjure up some code for my website, that would be most delightfully fabulous of you! Also, maybe get my tampons down from the tippy top cabinet in my immaculate kitchen, and run the dishwasher, that would be great. Oh, also, take care of the nasty little eight-legged intruders I found in my back-up clip-on extensions!!! Oh, I also have to run some numbers on this giftcard I’ve got, but math is so hard (damn extra X chromosome)!!!
I need this done by 5:30!
My shoes just aren’t satisfactory as of late. I wonder if the shoe fairy might be suddenly inspired to gift upon me some new shoes? Where are you, shoe fairy!!!!?
Rake talks to the mirror. What a fucking weirdo. He is so lucky that I love geeks and losers and am deigning to talk to him.
White Girl Gang Signs, yo!!! Putting the ‘ho’ in gettho since 1981!!! Word to your mother, my nizzle!!! LOL!!! Kidding!!! I am a 1/4 Jewish WASP! (JASP? JAWS?) Like, about as un-gangsta as they come! I am still hella gonna bust some Pac at my wedding someday, though, fo’ sho’. Anyone have any jams (erm, jamz?) to recommend?